You know those people that are always frazzled, always behind, seemingly lost in the shuffle of life?
I know why many of them are that way.
They have children. And homes. And jobs. And are in school. And lives in general. And right now, I'm one of them.
I always thought I could do it all. I still think I can, but it certainly isn't as easy as it looks. Here is a list of things that I cannot get done in one day:
- All of the laundry
- Clean the bathtub (because I have a child that bathes and it always has a layer of dirt in it)
- Walk the dog
- Nap
- Complete assignments for my masters classes
- Answer work emails
- Share a meal with my family
- Spend time with my family
- Nap
- Watch crappy television
- Read educational blogs and books
- Read books for pleasure
- Nap
It's been a week into my masters classes, and I had my first breakdown last night. I cried, like a small, overtired child. I admitted to myself something I knew but didn't want to recognize - trying to do everything at once isn't working. So, I took my mental breakdown as a positive, re-assessed how I needed to do things, and did what I should have done in the first place - prioritize.
With all of that behind me, I started today anew. Instead of trying to write a paper while I try to hang with my son and husband, which doesn't work because ultimately I cannot totally focus, will end up reading directions wrong (twice), have to redo the assignment (twice), and end up crying (twice), I told my husband I was going to work during naptime, and play during playtime. Not try to work on and off throughout the day, half paying attention to two things, instead of putting honest focus onto one thing at a time. I needed to go upstairs, put myself in a room, and work. So I did two hours this morning, and guess what, I don't have the overwhelming urge to cry and scream simultaneously. I actually got something done!! Now it is naptime again, and here I sit, alone in my room, working. And when my son gets up, worktime is over. (Ok, crappy TV is on while I'm working... I'm human after all.)
I realized that I can do it all. Just not today. Also, I need help. I cannot do it all alone. It is OK to ask for help. It's ok to feel guilty if I have to do homework for a little while instead of playing with my son because really, I'm back in school for him. Yes, for me too, but mostly for him. Because I want him to value education like I do, to see that it is important. I must remember that it might be hard now, but like everything else, it will be worth it in the end.
Here is the list one more time. I won't focus on what I can't do, but what I have done.
- All of the laundry
- Clean the bathtub (because I have a child that bathes and it always has a layer of dirt in it)
Walk the dog- Nap
Complete assignments for my masters classes- Answer work emails
Share a meal with my familySpend time with my family- Nap
Watch crappy televisionRead educational blogs and books- Read books for pleasure
- Nap
It's 3:00. I hear the chattering of a toddler from down the hall that tells me it's time to close the computer. Instead of being filled with dread, today, I'm feeling pretty good. Hey, maybe one of these days nap will get crossed off....
Those of you with busy lives... so everyone... how do you keep it all together?
I feel you Jenna. I actually feel like a zombie. I cannot wait until this week is over and I just have 2 classes for focus on instead of three. I have been farming my boys out to any willing takers and will continue to do so through mid-July. Also my house is filthy and will likely continue to be so until mid-July. Hang in there! We can do it! :)
ReplyDeleteI am with you too. I have a 2-year old and an 8-month old that I feel like I have hardly given any attention for the last week and a half. I am taking two classes right now. Basically when the kids wake up in the morning I get them dressed and take them to my parents house. I work in one of the bedrooms while my mom entertains them. I basically make an appearance when I need to eat and when I need to feed my baby. I literally work 7-8 hours during the day. Once the kids and my husband go to bed, I work until about 2:30 a.m. The kids wake me up in the morning and we start it all over again. This has been quite an adjustment for me because I have not worked since my son was born (almost 2 1/2 years ago). I am used to giving them my attention pretty much all day everyday. You are not alone if that is any consolation.
ReplyDeleteHang in there all of you! I'll count my blessings I don't have children yet! You all deserve the instructional technologist medal of honor in my book!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that I'm not alone! There's no need for me to add my to do list; you all understand. It's especially difficult taking summer courses because they're compact: so little time to do so much. We will survive! Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteRight there with you! I feel like I haven't been around for my 19-month-old as much as I should be, between working 10-hour days and then doing school work. But I have Fridays off work in the summer so I use that day to make up for it by focusing all my attention on her that day, which we've both been enjoying.
ReplyDeleteWe CAN do it! By the way, my list looks much like yours and thank goodness I have a husband who's picking up the slack so we don't have a week's worth of dirty dishes in the sink. I keep telling myself, I can catch up around the house after classes end :)
-Katie